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Carson Sanders ([info]ilevitate) wrote,
@ 2009-02-08 12:46:00
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[013]


I feel empty inside. Not that I ever really felt much before but now there is nothing. No happiness, no sadness, no anger just empty. Brendan hates me. I just know he does. I should have believed him and not Dylan. Maybe Brendan is a monster sometimes but he does it for good reasons. Good intentions. Dylan just does things to hurt and break and maim.

Hes taken everything away from me. Any good feeling I had is gone and in its wake is this huge empty void. I'm scared to say anything about it to Brendan because he might get upset again. I can't hurt him anymore. William seems to barely tolerate my presence in their home and I just feel like I'm getting in the way. I don't know why I still feel like a kid but I do and its just how my mind works and after what Dylan did to me I can't think straight anymore.

I don't even really want to live anymore but I can't hurt Brendan by just going away. He'd think I was turning my back on him again. I hate my life. I hate this stupid ability and I hate Dylan for hurting me.

I want my dad.


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